On A Happy Note! Understanding Happiness – How to Change Your Life

When children are given three wishes, they often wish for a new game-boy or a new toy that is being widely advertised.

Even as adults, if we were given the same three wishes, many of us would ask for toys and lots of money, right? Then we might consider health and other choices, expecting that lots of money will bring the happiness we imagine that it provides. Surprisingly, research indicates that money does not provide happiness on its own and that there are a number of other influences involved.

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When It’s Time to Hit the Reset Button

Are you aware that when you experience stress for prolonged periods of time that it takes a toll on your well-being? This summer I was grateful to spend three weeks at my cottage where the loudest sounds were the distant chainsaw and lawnmower noises or the scolding of two hummingbirds that wouldn’t share the same feeder!

Driving home, I was very surprised by my unusual level of anxiety driving down the 401. I was so aware of the noise of the trucks, the amount of traffic and focus required to be cautious. And on my first night home it seemed that I heard every airplane that took off and landed! I realized first hand the stressors we experience each day in our lives that we take for granted as normal. Yet my body was very aware of the stress in our daily environment.

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The Causes of Our Discontent

Why Do Couples Seek Counselling?

There are several common themes that I, as a therapist, hear when couples call for an appointment. Probably the most prevalent one is “ I have lost my feelings for my spouse”. Most often only one person feels this way and the other is unaware of this change in her partner. Sometimes she has a sense that something is wrong but doesn’t know how to change it and unconsciously decides to ignore the signs of problems. As the problem continues the discontent festers and becomes much greater than if it had been addressed when one of the individuals first became aware of it. Often one or both think, “ It will just go away if I ignore it.” And they convince themselves, temporarily, that ‘it’s not so bad’. But under stress the feelings about the value of the relationship re-surface and it is often at this time, when it is most difficult to think and act rationally, that one person will reveal how he has been feeling. The person who is unaware or who has not wanted to acknowledge that there’s a problem will feel that her spouse’s desire to separate has come ‘out of the blue’.

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Spring …. A perfect time to let go …

Spring… Who does not feel a sense of renewal when Spring arrives? The whole idea of spring cleaning is about clearing up the clutter we have accumulated during winter… The grime on the windows, the dust bunnies under the furniture, the extra weight we’ve put on.
Spring is also a perfect time to clear up the clutter in our mind, review what’s working for us and let go of what is no longer serving us.
There are so many things, thoughts, beliefs we hold on to just because. Just because what???
May be just because we don’t know what to do without them. We have come so accustomed to defining ourselves by these “ things”, thoughts, and beliefs that we feel lost if we even think about not having them.

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Will the Real You Please Stand up!

Who is the real you?

Do you find yourself having conflicting inner dialogues with yourself?

Do you feel confused or disappointed by some of your actions?

Do you get bogged down in feelings of guilt and self-judgment?

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You are what you eat ….. And what you think!

How many times have you given yourself an “ Attaboy” or Attagirl” pat on the back today? Sounds ludicrous?

How many times have you made a negative or self-deprecating comment to yourself today? Now we’re talking, right?

It’s always interesting to hear someone talk about that friend who is so negative about everything, who complains all the time or who has little or no self-confidence. What’s even more interesting is that we, as individuals, rarely are aware of how many times we do it as well. This way of thinking has become so ingrained in our habits that thinking positively, appreciating what we have and what is offered to us everyday, requires some sort of reminder.

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Feeling Wired Up But Melting Down? Managing Energy for Life Satisfaction

The Challenges of Today’s Lifestyle

Our complex, fast-paced world creates unrelenting pressure at work, and in our personal lives. Multitasking, distress and exhaustion flourish in a society where we perceive there is not enough “time” to experience quality interactions and to successfully meet our daily obligations.

If our goal is only to manage our time efficiently, we may not muster enough energy to stay present, patient, positive and lively! Everything that we do requires energy, from a loving talk with our children about household duties, being emotionally and physically intimate with our partner, to negotiating and problem solving with family members, work associates and clients.

Traditional methods of time management are breaking down by bytes and bites. There are 168 hours each week, and we know that we cannot sustain a 24/7 lifestyle! When we try to beat the clock, we feel frustration, anxiety, exhaustion and we question ourselves, “How can I finish all of this?” or “When does it ever end?” or even worse, “Will there ever be time for my needs?”

Now imagine a different picture. Instead of trying to control time we create a lifestyle that focuses on managing our energy . We learn how to expand our energies, by making changes that promote balance and increase the possibility of the positive quality, rather than quantity of our daily output.

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